When a song sings about the unbalanced desires

2 Jun

Before I will show any video of the song I discuss in the title, I will give you some background information about my initial reactions.

Positioning my sexuality will be quite problematic, only I will say that I am technically a heterosexual woman. It also depends about who defines the rules of sexuality…in some peoples book you have to have had the technical part to claim some kind of preference to either sex, or both ones. However, the ‘hardcore’ gay people already struggle with bisexual people and the bi-curious are even worse in their book. At least, the curious have been technically curious, which would set my position in the worse-that-bicurious book, because I haven’t even tried, which will brand me as a heterosexual in their book..

What about the non-technical part?

In Elizabeth Grosz book, the ‘lesbian desire’ that is not the lack (often branded in the masculinist part of psychotherapy, but even the unfulfilment of this desire is a positive force. (look at all these poets creating poems for the ones they desired but could not get (and the painters, writers and other creativistas), or…in my book, exercising quite a bit because the energy should go somewhere).

So, what does all of this has to do with a song?

Rihanna is a singer that has been popular of her Umbrella song. During fall, I heard that she would be releasing a new album (or she had already done that) and I came across on a song called Te Amo. Spanish for…yes…”I love you”, combined with the reggaeton it gives a hispanic or latino element to the lover.

However, Rihanna, as an African-Caribbean girl (she is 22 so she is a girl in my book) sings as the ‘I’ about a ‘she’.

African-Caribbean girls singing about bi orientation is not the most common thing ever. Indeed, it is really not too common at all.

The ‘she’ seems to want more from the ‘I’ than the ‘I’ can give her (the ‘I’ sings “I hold her hand I got no choice”, whereas the ‘she’ touches the ‘I’s waist). To me, that sounded quite bi-curious.

Or, if Rihanna is the ‘I’ it seems like she is ducking away from bi-curiosity, because she sings “Listen we can dance, but you’ve gotta watch your hands, watch me all night […] cause I understand that we all need love, and I’m not afraid, to feel the love but I don’t feel that way“.

The whole song is filled with the ‘I’ feeling comfortable dancing with the te amo calling ‘she’, but, she is absolutely ask the she to “gotta watch your hands”. The ‘I’, Rihanna (?), is absolutely having a good time under the gaze of the female partner (who “takes the lead”) and still, the ‘I’ is not afraid, but neither going further with the ‘she’.

That was the content of the song.

So, the video was released, and the message that came across was quite incongruent to the text…(check out the next url)


I mean, there is absolutely no rejection, the two females are, ehm, more than dancing and holding each other’s waist.

I semi-discussed this online, but Rihanna is sometimes a bit in the dominant role-playing S&M role…look at those outfits (except that fantastic dress Rihanna is wearing in one of the scenes). And although I disagree Rihanna is constantly dominant, as the other woman “takes the lead” at some times as well, refreshingly, changing roles.

Anyway, my girlcrush was Rihanna at the time being (and she still is, which is quite the ultimate form of unattainable desire ever)…She already was since hearing this song for the first time (and actually, she looked quite fab in Umbrella too). So, Rihanna is probably my exception on my technical heterosexuality…

I do not really agree with the oversexualised crawling on the ground and the rolling over the cars (how to cater for a masculine crowd?) and I would probably had my video be a bit more congruent to the text but that would not sell as good as this video, honestly.

Still, the woman casted (Laetitia Casta, French instead of Italian, but she is styled in a ‘stereotypical’ Italian fashion for the video) is incredibly beautiful and I think Rihanna’s taste in women (if she picked her herself) is actually quite sophisiticated and beautiful. The landhouse is gorgeous and actually quite European themed (England?, France?, Italy?) instead of a place in the world that plays reggaeton beat (the beat of Te Amo) – that would have been somewhere in the Caribbean.

I think it is quite beautiful to watch at, and if I were as gorgeous as Casta I would have been exhilirated shooting this video with Rihanna.

And wow, this message to Afro-Caribbean women somewhat confused about not feeling completely heterosexually oriented…that is a strong message. Perhaps, as what happened with the Rihanna hairdo copied in the Caribbean, it might lead to more women coming out for their bi or lesbian orientation and perhaps it would help diminishing homophobia in some places in the Caribbean.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: